Title: Differnece between men and women
Post by: Robbo SPS on October 15, 2003, 01:31:09 pm
1. NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
2. EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
3. MONEY
A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
4. BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337......... A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
5. ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
6. CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
7. FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
8. SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
9. MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
10. DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
11. NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
12. OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
2. EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
3. MONEY
A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
4. BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337......... A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
5. ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
6. CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
7. FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
8. SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
9. MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
10. DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
11. NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
12. OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
Title: Re:Differnece between men and women
Post by: Mr. Rick on October 15, 2003, 09:31:50 pm
13. THE ABOVE POST
Men are still crying with laughter at this ten minutes later.
Women glance briefly and then return to watching Coronation Street without a murmur whilst secretly wondering what the feck they have to do to stop their husbands being so childish!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D
Men are still crying with laughter at this ten minutes later.
Women glance briefly and then return to watching Coronation Street without a murmur whilst secretly wondering what the feck they have to do to stop their husbands being so childish!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re:Differnece between men and women
Post by: gibberish on October 16, 2003, 12:50:38 pm
13. THE ABOVE POST
Men are still crying with laughter at this ten minutes later.
Women glance briefly and then return to watching Coronation Street without a murmur whilst secretly wondering what the feck they have to do to stop their husbands being so childish!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D
Men are still crying with laughter at this ten minutes later.
Women glance briefly and then return to watching Coronation Street without a murmur whilst secretly wondering what the feck they have to do to stop their husbands being so childish!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D
there's nothing they can ever do, thank God ;D ;D
Title: Re:Differnece between men and women
Post by: Nobby Diesel on October 16, 2003, 01:19:00 pm
Very funny.....and pretty much true.
Along similar lines, this one made me laugh.
Along similar lines, this one made me laugh.
Title: Re:Differnece between men and women
Post by: Nobby Diesel on October 16, 2003, 01:20:10 pm
Why won't the attchment go with the posting???????
Title: Re:Differnece between men and women
Post by: Mr. Rick on October 16, 2003, 01:31:14 pm
What type of file is it Nobby?
Only certain types of files work and only if less than 100kb.
Only certain types of files work and only if less than 100kb.
Title: Re:Differnece between men and women
Post by: rcutler on October 16, 2003, 01:33:21 pm
What do women and clouds have in common?
At some point in the day they will f**k off and it will be a beautifull day.
At some point in the day they will f**k off and it will be a beautifull day.
Title: Re:Differnece between men and women
Post by: Mr. Rick on October 16, 2003, 02:24:18 pm
LOL!!!! Nice one!! ;D
Title: Re:Differnece between men and women
Post by: Chef on October 25, 2003, 03:56:04 pm
very ammusing
