Club Arnage

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I so hope they were !!!!!   :)  I can hear the tune now!!

Unfortunatly not . We all love the ORIGIONAL FILM but got the name by always trying to kill ourselves in cars , bikes , walking.

Wayne ( Goldfish ) is trying to source a mini foe a replica, He had a blue one with a metro engine she horned in and she flew .

Project Le Mans 2005 is for a Mini 1.416v twin cam k series lump 103bhp standard, but specced up , should be about 115bhp when finished, two seats , no interior .

So Mr Corvette , TVR , Jag , Porsche - Fancy a race ??

That was exactly how my Min was, complete with half roll cage (see XJR photos thread for details already posted!)

Would be good to see another Min at Le Mans, we were a very rare sight!!

Cheers

Rick

Do you remember the cut down mini that used to hang around MB? The bodyshell had been cut and shut so it was a two seater with about a 3 ft wheelbase. It used to tow the cut off rear end of another mini as a trailer. It looked a hoot, but I bet it was a scary b*stard on the open road.
H

Can't say I ever saw that one H! Been an MB'er since 1991 ('92 and '95 excepted). Sort of thing I'd notice having been a Mini nut since I can remember! Mine drove like a go-kart as it was, hate to think what a short wheelbase would be like!

You know Rickmeolemeister, I've described that car a few times to people, and no one can remember it. I'm seriously starting to consider that it might have been the DT's. I mean, if it was, it was a subtle little tremor, it wasn't being driven by two giant cockroaches or anything similar as I remember.

I'm going to have to take some valium down next year.

H

 have no fear H. it exists, it is not a figment of your vivid imagination, you pointed it out to me, possibly you may have imbibed half of the distillery's yearly output.
don't worry about the valium' i know!! a purveyor of  the finest chemicals known to man,

My god, I remember them things!! Wonderful seeing them everywhere, but only as a three-some.

Me too I may have already saw that car, but I can't remember if it was at le Mans or in a Mini-dedicated British magazine.

Yup, saw that strange mini twice at Le Mans - it was on our ferry one year (can't frickin' remember which year, of course).

....and by the way Robbo, your postings are usually well thought-out, intelligent and entertaining, but if you believe a 130 hp Mini can smoke a 911, any modern TVR or (dare I say it) a 'Vette - you've obviously been huffing paint, dear chap.

115 bhp in a 750 kg car , would be very quick of the mark , as long as the wheels stopped spinning, but its not always the car. I went whizzing past , Morgan V8's , Lotus Exige , Audi R8, TVR's , and a GT3 in a the VW minibus we took this year . Sometimes its about the driver and how mad you are . As i ride a motorbike in England 365 days a year , I am mad.

The little mini , if it happens would be a real bit of fun .

I did think about a 2.8 ford V6 into a fiesta body , with rear wheel drive , but thats about as far as i got .

I am a little worried that my other posts are well thought out , its not usually my thing , THINKING

Dec 2001 - A3(M) Hampshire  -2 deg cent . Me on bike , freezing badly , Hampshire Traffic Copper in big Volvo with heater on. Pulls me over " Excuse me sir , do you realise your number plate is small (1.5mm each way too small ), reply " YES, I BOUGHT IT LIKE THAT "
As the great Homer J Simpson says "DOH DOH DOH "
£110 later - I really liked that man.

In my Kings Road Cruisin' days, I often saw (sh*t, here we go again, I swear I saw it, I really did) a mini with a 5.3 V12 Jag motor in it. The lovely new bulkhead was where the back of the front seats had been, and the driver sat in a modified back seat. Most of the rest of the car seemed to be exhaust headers.
I'm not sure I could imagine, even on a really good imagining day, what it must have been like to floor the throttle and attempt to coax it through the gears.
I'd bet my old toe nail clippings that the driver is now having a light ale with St Peter down at The Old Cross and Nails
H

Couldn't agree more, about the attitude and skill of the driver making a difference, but a Porker, Vette or Tuscan would be so far ahead of a hot Mini from the drop of the flag, it wouldn't count for much.
At risk of being an arsehole about this, I've had so many people alongside me, who've screeched away from traffic lights and perhaps later claimed to have burned-down a Corvette, when I was just sitting minding my own business, worrying about my overdraft. In fairness, just whizzing past someone, ain't exactly racing.

As for your piss-poor luck with the filth re. your number plate, the pig in question must have been a proper twat. I had exactly the same pull and gave the same response. The cop gave me a 'horti' and an MOT document which confirmed that I'd changed to a regulation sized plate within 14 days. Maybe W. Yorks constabulary are a bit more human than Hants - or you gave the cop a hard time - and there's only going to be one winner whenever that happens.

To summarise, I think your Mini project would be a lot of fun, but 100 and some horses versus at least 350 (in the cars you quoted) is stretching it somewhat, I feel.

I should add that I neither condone, nor partcipate in racing on the street - unless I feel so inclined.  

Yes Matt:

I too was scratching my head a little on that one.  Somehow I don't see such a vehicle hanging with your C5 on the stretch toward Jumelles from Le Mans, or our other antics on I70 from Indy to Comblowus.  Unless this Mini is capable of 160+ mph that is?

Still, sounds like a fun project.

The cut down mini was there in 94 or 95, I have a piccy of it drag racing in the Houx campsite, I will try to find it and scan.

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But do you get another car for 501 posts??

Oh yes! And I appear to be a titular "Yabb God"

At Goodwood this year 'Whizzo' Williams stuck a Cooper S on pole, and he was up against some pretty honky Falcons and Galaxies. In the race, the car finished third. Not bad for a little'un.

Mrs H, who's not really into motor racing, but knows her football and is a mad keen Villa fan, got all excited during this race. She'd heard over the tannoy that one of the Ford Falcons was been driven by Ron Atkinson.

I'm not sure the Big Man would have done much for the power to weight ratio, and nothing could be seen of the sheepskin as we watched the cars go by. We were all a bit disappointed to see Mr Bean emerge...

"At he pit exit, there he goes, a quick lollipop, little eyebrows. One-nil."

Mini's are fun fast ones better, and will leave most overwhight V8's woundering were they whent, unless the road is very straight and long. Mind you my mates Mini which he sprints and hilclimbs scares Mustangs at Santa Pod.

Unfortunatly I am a little to large for a fast Mini, hight and width!!!! Last one I drove I could not get in out of 3rd as the gear leaver was stuck behind my knee, mind you 3rd was good for very silly speeds.

I know of one other monster mini, I use the word mini loosly. It looks like a mini but has a 2lt motor, spaceframe and carbon fiber body, and 4 wheel steer, and its road legal too, but has a tendancy to try to fly when it gets to speed..........might be at LM next year too.

And to bring this post full circle, the guys who built my monster 1380 lump were the same guys who prepped the abovementioned 1994 car!! Small world and all that!

 ;D

Hang on a second, lads - just a cotton pickin' minute there, y'all.
What's all this about Falcons and Galaxies and Rustangs. The original discussion was a comparison between a heavily breathed-on Mini and a Porsche 911, TVR, Corvette and Jaguar. You may note that I left the Jag out of the arguement, because I haven't driven a late model.
Please, lets not be under the misguided impression that a C5 Corvette is anything but up to date in terms of chassis development, traction control, roadholding and power. The differences between the C5 and its predecessor are enormous. This is not some lumbering yank tank. It has electro-magnetically adjustable computer controlled active damping. (The Mini has knicker elastic) It is light, hi-tech and very, very fast. I should also point out that I actually acquired the car in UK and drove it there for a year - often on twisty country roads oop north. The TVR (Tuscan) is ferocious, if a little unrefined and insanely grippy, right to it's limit. The 911 is in a class of it's own. Dave H has a spanking 996 TT and it is the ultimate street weapon. Acceleration is pure madness, the brakes are incredible and it just goes wherever you point it. Tightly curving motorway on-ramps are mind-melting, as the lateral forces build up. I've driven many hopped-up cars and lots and lots of Mini's. I'm English and lived in England for 40 years before moving out here. I've ridden motorcycles both there and here, so I understand power/weight. Minis are not faster than 911's or Corvettes or TVR's (or Ferrari's, Lambos, Saleen S7's Mitsubishi Evo 7's etc. etc.) If they were, we'd all be driving them.
I accept that they are fun, easy to work with and on, cheap and plentiful. They also seem quick, because they transmit feedback, are small and close to the ground.
I'm in no way belittling what sounds like a great project car, but kidding yourself that an antiquated 4 pot sub 1500cc automotive antique will outrun a modern supercar is a load of bollocks - sorry, I can't think of another way to put it.
Yes - being caught in the upper stratosphere of speed in Ohio would probably lead to some unpleasentness with the Highway Patrol and incarceration and loss of virginity. My 160+ dabblings were actually in the vacinity of Le Mans to and from the 2000 (wet) race.
A thought just struck me - I've seen plenty of 911's TVR's and Vettes in top class motor racing, but strangely, no Mini's - wonder why that is? Before anyone says "Ah, what about hillclimbs", I have two words - Pikes Peak - never seen a f**k*n' Mini there either.
Bring it on, Mini lovers, I'm sure we haven't heard the last of this!
Matt  

oh sh*t,
Shouldn't be jumping in here but I saw something regarding a Mini, a 996 Turbo and Pikes Peak.  Huh!   I'm way too f**ked to go into this in detail but, what the f**k are 996 & Mini doing in the same breath and where does the Peak come into this  That's Andretti & Unser land up there, Michelle Mouton left there crying like a f**k*ng baby one year, seems the Yanks mis-treated the Frog-Girlie last time she was here.  Sorry Toto but you ain't in Kansas anymore!
The Peak isn't some little shitty gopher hill.  They don't call it the race to the clouds for nothing.  The Millen Bros. have had to put togther some pretty special kit to take that hill.
Fax  

"A thought just struck me - I've seen plenty of 911's TVR's and Vettes in top class motor racing, but strangely, no Mini's - wonder why that is? Before anyone says "Ah, what about hillclimbs", I have two words - Pikes Peak - never seen a f**ckin' Mini there either.
Bring it on, Mini lovers, I'm sure we haven't heard the last of this!"

Apart from world rallying- the monty- European and British saloon car racing... eh Matt. Mind you I thorght that Pikes peak would be intresting in a mini. (Did you vere see that maaaad SAAB they did there?)

In its hay-day a sorted Mini could scare the pants of any car, MK11 Jags, Lotus Cortinas, Falcons, (not Porkers as they were Sportscars not Saloons) as you can see at any historic meet, see Goodwood.

You could always try a sorted Mini out on Pikes Peak playing Gran Turismo!!!!  ;D

I can't say I've ever really had the 'Mini bug', apart from the one I'm wearing that is. The way it just rides up when I bend over at the waste paper basket is certainly bringing on some bovine perspiration in my upper lip area.

There's no way way, to paraphrase fax, that a mini should be mentioned in the same performance breath as a 996, but 'kinnell! there's a 40 odd year disparity in age, along with all the engineering and materials technology that goes with it. In it's day though, I would imagine a tuned mini with an able driver would hold it's head high with most cars on a public road in the UK.

If we're talking road racing today though, then I reckon it all boils down to the drivers bottle. Sure, (as this is about motor racing, should I say 'for sure'?) there's power and weight and all that other stuff, but round these parts it's unlikely that most people will get anywhere near the chassis limits of a modern sports car. And as every driver has a different bottle, then there's no real answer to this one. Having said that, if I was sitting at the lights in a mini, and a C5 vette drew up alongside, then I would have to be a right c*nt to gun it off the line.

There's a lot of very wealthy geezers round this part of the world, and not a day goes by without me seeing some sort of high performance car (saw a Spyker the other day!), but it does make me cry in my beer when I see the way they're been driven. I'll bet the lavatory seat never stands up in their houses...

Great post Matt!

H

Matt

Point 1, you are right. A Mini, in any impirical test, will not hold a candle to the above C5, Lambo etc. But a few weeks ago, I had a dice against a hot Mini. I drive an Impreza  Turbo and though I am no McRae, I don't hang about. It was only when we got to a dual carriage way was I able to shake the little bugger off! I had to laugh!

Point 2. The Americans were made to look SOOO stoopid when Audi and Mouton first went to Pikes Peak in about 85. When they came back to defend, the yanks had realised the 4x4 was the way to go. Some of them had sought to modify their Peaks racers with chain driven 4x4 systems. It was a miracle that no driver was beheaded by the failing chains as they flew off their sprockets. Now these were not just back yard teams but ones with major sponsorship deals from the likes of Budweezer etc. Truly, truly laughable! Quite why they didn't like Michele Mouton one can only speculate. And when Peugeot and Mazda whipped their red necks for the following few years, well...

You're quite right tho. There were no Minis.

Andy,
Your right. she didn hand them their butts on a platter.  Actually I always quite liked like Michelle, she's a hell of a racer and she and Fabrizia always made a great pairing.  Why didn't they like her?  One word...French!  Those guys are mostly a bunch a good-old-boys and they didn't like a French girl taking their mountain for a second!  I though it was pretty cool though. Funny how they never had a problem with Rod Millen and his rice burner.
Fax

Right bugger the lot of this.


Change of plan .

Mini with cut down 4x4 system , 3.2 V6 .......

British Pride.....

Well it wont happen , coz it will cost a fortune , but would have been a fun race .

I drive a Focus Diesel (1.8tdci - 90 bhp ) at work and can wooop anycar i race with , its aboutobservation , 4 wheel drift , tyres at the max , and the foot flat down .
Power does have something in this , but driver skill and usually ignorance to keep going and take a few well thought out risks wins .

I have seen people try and drive/ ride really exotic cars and bikes and they are terrible. It will always come down to the driver.

Mini reacing - did anyone ever see Jeremy Clarksons video about new v's old mini , the old Cooper s  blew its engine after 400 metres , so may have to eat a little humble pie on that one .

Matt - If not i have a 106bhp motor that would love to give you a race, i would destroy your Vette C5 ! 8)

Ground Control to Major Robbo!
Come on down fer chrissakes,
the O2 mix has gone wrong.

Liked the Zappa quote there H.

Robbo:
I certainly can appreciate that a very powerful or fast car can be horribly slow in the hands of an inexperienced, pants etc. driver.  And certainly slower machines close the gap with expert drivers (mad drivers usually end-up wheels-up in my experience).

I guess it comes down to the driving environment.  Around a race track, I think the type of mini your describing would be just about better than a pushbike vs. some decent kit - around an autocross cone-nudging Scalextric track it might be a little different.

I'm assuming your 106 ponies reside in a two wheeled frame.  I've read so many postings on other forums about this that I won't drone on.  But I should remind you that as a bike rider also, I have truly come to appreciate that there are cars faster than bikes - I know it doesn't sound believable, but from 75mph to 170mph as an example, I think you'll find that the bike loses every time.  And as for cornering etc., as you mentioned, it comes down to operator AND the type of corners.

Howyadoin' H
I think Robbo is referring to his crotch-rocket. Duh! I concede that my car won't keep up with a Jap multi. But we've now drifted into new territory.
Bikes v cars is not an appropriate comparison.
Maybe Robbo is the total lunatic on the road, that he suggests he is. I'm not sure that's something I'd brag about.
I've always been a little sceptical of the "I'm a right nutter, me" type of personality.
Dave H gave a fantastic quote from a racing instructer's briefing at the Panoz school at Road Atlanta, "Please don't try to impress me - all you will do is scare me".

Matt

To coin a phrase... Hold on a cotton pickin' minute!

Matt and Dave, who loves ya baby?

But can I suggest you reread Robbos original post. Where does he quote that the cars he mentions are modern versions? He doesn't so far as I can see! Hot diggety dang! I am fairly certain that his proposed project Mini will beat (on the safety of a race track) an origianal vette, a TVR Grantura 1800, a four cyl porker and more Jags than not.

Gents, I think a teensy apology is in order.

"So Philip Parsons of the Times, go and get a knife ,spoon and plate and tuck in to a big slice. Of humble pie, is what I'm trying to say". ( from Alan Partridge)

Butt out Zarse - this is shaping up to be an all too rare 'CA duke-out'.
Your shuttle diplomacy is commendable - but your defense is flawed.
Robbo threw down the gauntlet - he didn't say there were strings attached to his challenge. Otherwise, he might have mentioned Model T Fords, Austin Allegro's, Hispano Suiza's and Commer vans. If he'd said, "This Mini will shut down a really old Porsche, a pre-1997 'vette, a non-AJP powered TVR", then who would have argued with that?
How controversial and thought provoking would that have been?
I think we'd have all mused, "Can't fault you there Robbo, old son".
Come on Robbo - you wanna piece of me??!!

Right that does it!

A CA Duke-out you say? Well apart from BigH, who will obviously want to be Daisy, me and Robbo will be Bo 'n' Luke. You Matt, you will be Rosco P Coltrane and your brother will be Boss Hogg. Fax can be Eenus or Cleeteris or what ever the other crap cop was called. I cannot think of better casting. And the General Lee is, was and always will be a friggin' MINI.

And we gonna take you suckers, with a little help from your old friend, (if I can find where I put that card for the Fisting Parlour!)

Dan? Dan? Ah, Dan!!

Let's Get Ready to Rumble!!!  (hum the theme from Rocky)

Big H in a pair of Daisy Dukes - now there's a thought!!!  :-X  ;D

Through broken teeth and smashed lips I presume?

You boyz are crackin' me up!! I'm gonna be completely Swiss (Tony?) on this one and remain neutral throughout!!

Me, sitting on the fence and unable to commit either way, surely not? Now, where did I put that spine.......

It has been mooted before on the old forum.

Christ sake, stop it everyone. I am supposed to be trying to do some work.

PS Sadly Rick, I will not be going to OZ for the world cup, due to circumstances beyond my control. Also the gaps between matches in the pool games mean I'd have to take too much time off work to watch more than one game. The draw itself is pretty unrewarding all round. Only about five match worth watching in total.

Mind you, I expect those uncultured Harper lads are rugby league supporters. Keightley Cougars I'd say.

Mind you, I expect those uncultured Harper lads are rugby league supporters. Keightley Cougars I'd say.

Bradford Bulls actually. I'll have you know that I was a reasonably accomplished Union player in my youth - played hooker for Nottingham boys even. (I simply can't wait to see what that last statement provokes)

You stole my line Andy. I was hoping to goad Robbo into trading some insults (he's obviously smarter than that (or off-line)) to which I'd planned to retort, "Bring back Dan", but you bested me - by the way, the pig looked in better shape than you did. Partaken of a few shandies the night before, perchance?

Sadly, I suspect that we have hammered the Mini debate about flat now, so without further ado, I'll kick-off the grovelling apologies, no offense intended, sorry for taking it all the wrong way, etc.etc.
..........f**k*ng Mini's ........you're all barking.

It's been a while since I pissed myself on CA - but the Dukes of Hazard penned by Mr. Zarse was f**k*ng hilarious.  Christ.

I agree that the mulsanne mini thread has reached pensioner status, and that Robbo is clearly a good sort and cannot be baited into flagrant insults and threats of violence if we ever come near his pitch in MB.

As for Rugby?  Just got back from Sydney on Friday (1st day of the tournament).  Lots of fanfare, fireworks and people hanging off the Opera House with flares.  But international presence didn't seem that high.  Maybe it picks-up during the coming weeks.  Hell of a long way to fly to watch a game.

Lads , some of us have to work and that involves going out into the big wide world , and on occasions , as of tonight drive around like a loony .

I am not proud to be a loony, and dont think i am, but i do enjoy 4 wheel drift round a corner and i dont pay the maintnenance on the cars or occasional van.

The 106 bhp is a bike , and awsomely quick , 436bhp TVR couldnt beat me at 2002 le mans . Not the best rider yet , but trying .

Matt - I would have loved to trade blows with you , but as a fellow Bully boy , you need a pat on the back . I too follow the Bulls and the Bantams as was a resident of a place called Denholme a few years ago .

Mini's yep debate well and truley hammerd so nuts to that .

But.....

Dukes of CA , yeeeeeee hhhhaaaaaaaaarrrrr , who is getting the Charger . Thats a true Yank tank .

If  we have the race can it be in Hampshire........ The lovely Bike Choppers will put us all in the clink...........

If not i would cheat , i use the well built mini to ram the Vette of the road , using all the power of the fibre glass re-moulded body...

Time to put this debackle to bed me thinks.

One final taunt Robbo.

Matt, since when did the good folk of Yorkshire spell defence and offence with a bloody S instead of a C? You be spelling colour with no u next. Yee Haww!

As well as believing a Vette is a better car than a MINI  ::)

Smart arce

I'm not getting dressed up as Daisy Duke again unless I get something in writing first.
H